My ovary has a heartbeat (and other fun with the RE)

I had my RE appointment this afternoon and I must say, I am so impressed with this doctor.  He was so incredibly nice, and seemed to genuinely care about my concerns.

I met with him in his office as soon as I got there, and he spent about 20 minutes just asking me questions, looking at my charts, and discussing what might be going on with me.  He also asked how I was doing after our miscarriage, and spent several minutes talking to me about pregnancy loss.  He said thinks its a shame that miscarriage is such a "dirty little secret" in our society, and that he completely believes it is the loss of a child, and that he certainly views it that way and wishes other people would too.  I loved that he came right out and said that, and it was refreshing to hear a medical professional recognize what me and DH went through as an actual, human, emotional event, rather than another run-of-the-mill "spontaneous abortion".  (Don't even get me started on that terminology -- I HATE the word(s) "spontaneous abortion".  It seriously it makes my skin crawl.  There was absolutely nothing spontaneous nor abortive about what I went through, and to describe it as such feels so clinical and cold.  But I digress.) 

Annyyywayyy...  So my RE agreed I am definitely showing symptoms of PCOS that were concerning to him.  He also said that although my PCOS panel came back within the normal ranges, he also wanted an ultrasound of my ovaries just to make sure there were no cysts.  He also wanted to test me for congenital adrenal hyperplasia, which he says can present with the same symptoms as PCOS but would require a different course of treatment.  He also wanted to test me for insulin resistance, so I will be participating in a 2 hour glucose tolerance test at some point this week.  (I'm definitely not looking forward to that!).

So, after my meeting with the RE today, they took three vials of blood to test for these various conditions, and also gave me lab orders to have the 2 hour GTT done.  After the blood draw, I also had a transvaginal (aka "dildo cam") ultrasound with his tech there in the office.  She was also amazingly nice, and was much more "gentle" than the ultrasound tech who did my t/v ultrasound with Baby M.  During my ultrasound, the tech did tell me that my ovaries are really far apart from each other and sit really far off to each side.  As in, she could hardly find my left one with the dildo cam.  She did finally find it, and she said it was almost as far over as my femoral artery (which I guess is REALLY far).  She then turned on the sound from the ultrasound and sure enough, you could hear the blood whooshing in my artery so loud it echoed in the room.  (Aww, my ovary's heartbeat.  How special.)    I asked the tech if my ovaries being so far apart was a problem, but of course she couldn't really tell me anything.  But I definitely plan to ask the RE about it at my next appointment.  Which will be next Wednesday, after all of my test results have come back.

I have to say that after today, I am definitely looking forward to this next appointment.  I'm also anxious to see if my tests will show anything.  I guess we will know soon enough!

Test results -- round 1

My doctor called today with my test results from yesterday's blood draw.  He said my hormone levels were all within the normal ranges, so he does not think I have PCOS.  Which is GOOD news, but still doesn't explain why I am having the symptoms.

On to the RE!

Doctor appointment today

Well, my doctor's appointment today was not nearly as productive as I thought it would be.  From speaking with my doctor on the phone the other day, I expected we would go over my medical history, my charts, my symptoms, etc.  He had asked me to bring my charts, but then barely even glanced at them.  He also didn't examine me (I was ok with this) or even talk to me about PCOS at all.

All he did was order bloodwork and refer me to an RE.  He also kept saying I might need something to make me ovulate and the next step would probably be Clomid.  I told him I thought I was ovulating, just not very often, and that I wasn't comfortable immediately jumping to Clomid before we ruled out other things that might be going on.  I don't want to take Clomid... I want answers about what is going on with me!

I don't know what I was expecting from this appointment exactly, but I guess I thought it would be more productive than it was.  Something just felt off about the entire appointment.  As DH said, maybe my doctor just didn't know what else to do so he referred me to someone who would.  Either way, I did have my blood drawn and he said my results for the PCOS panel should be back in a few days.  And thankfully, I didn't have to wait long to get in to the RE -- my appointment is next Monday.  Hopefully he can finally give us some insight as to what is going on with me!

Moving forward

Yesterday was tough.  Thankfully I had a super busy day at work to keep my mind occupied.

I also called my doctor yesterday.  After talking with DH, we decided it is probably time for me to get checked out.

I haven't written about it here yet, but lately I have been wondering if I might have PCOS.  I have a friend who has it, and she was actually the first person to mention that maybe I should get checked for it.  I honestly never really thought about PCOS before, but when my friend started telling me her symptoms, I realized... I have every single one of them.

Even though my friend had mentioned it, I never seriously considered the possibility of me having PCOS until this past weekend.  I randomly came across some information about PCOS online, and was shocked to discover how familiar the symptoms sounded:  long, irregular cycles, excessively oily skin and hair, dandruff/dry scalp, acne, excessive facial hair, obesity/weight gain/carrying excessive weight around your middle, and difficulty getting pregnant.

I have always had irregular periods (when not on birth control), even in junior high and high school.  Since I started charting, all of my cycles have lasted 35-50 days until this most recent one, which lasted 33 days -- my shortest ever!  I have also always had excessively oily skin and hair.  Like, extreme grease... Even when I shower in the morning, my hair looks completely oily and disgusting again by the afternoon.  I also have to blot my face constantly throughout the day, and no cleanser, moisturizer, or powder I have tried has ever managed to cover my oil slick of a face.  Also, since coming off of the pill, I have noticed that I have horrible acne.  And not just on my face, but my chest and back also.  But perhaps the most striking symptom I noticed while reading -- and seriously, THIS was the clencher which made me seriously consider PCOS -- is that women with PCOS tend to gain weight only around their midsection (i.e. waist and hips) and have a difficult time losing this weight no matter how much they diet and exercise.  I have always only gained weight only around my middle (the zone I lovingly refer to as my "spare tire") for as long as I can remember.  I always thought this was a plus, because even if I gained a few pounds, my legs never got fat and I could usually cover up my belly chub with loose shirts. ;-)  But especially since I was pregnant, I have noticed this "spare tire" region has gotten especially large and impossible to lose, no matter how much I watch what I eat.  And obviously, I am having difficulties in getting pregnant and have already had one pregnancy loss -- two more symptoms.

After experiencing the revelation that there might actually be something wrong with me, I decided that I would call my doctor if it turned out I wasn't pregnant again this cycle.  When it became obvious yesterday that I clearly wasn't pregnant, I called my doctor and told him about my symptoms and my concerns about possible PCOS.  He agreed I am definitely showing some symptoms and wants to see me next Monday.  He asked me to bring my charts, and said he would be happy to run some tests to get to the bottom of this.

I am just so thankful my friend brought this up, or I never would have thought to ask.  I am also thankful I have a doctor who takes me seriously and is willing to hear me out.  I am still bummed that we had yet another unsuccessful cycle, but I do feel just a little bit better knowing we have a plan for moving forward.  I truly do hope there is nothing wrong with me, but if there is, I hope it is something manageable so that we can treat it and move on.