Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Decisions

DH and I have been talking about our TTC efforts recently.  Basically, we agree that what we are doing isn't working and something needs to change.

After some more research, discussion with a doctor friend who frequently prescribes fertility meds, and a healthy dose of heartbreak and desperation, DH and I are revisiting the idea of Clomid.  We are still both a little skeptical of the risks, but we have been assured that the risks associated with using the minimum dose for only a few cycles are very, very small.  We are hoping that it will at least give me shorter, more regular cycles and thus give us more chances at conceiving a healthy baby.  Plus, it seems to be the only real option left to try before more invasive and expensive treatments, and it sure as heck is cheaper than adoption. 

SO, if we are not successful this cycle, we are going to give Clomid a go.  If the Clomid doesn't work, then we will move forward with foster-adoption this summer. 

The foster-adopt situation is another reason why I am willing to reconsider Clomid.  I'm afraid we might be at a bit of a roadblock when it comes to foster-adoption.  I have continued looking into it, and it seems like fostering-to-adopt a newborn would be nearly impossible for us right now.  The main obstacle:  one parent must be able to stay home full-time in order to receive a newborn placement.  While I knew going into this that a stay-at-home-parent was looked favorably upon, I did not realize that, in practice (in our area at least), it is essentially a requirement, because infants in foster care cannot go to daycare until they are 12 weeks old.  Another obstacle is my job.  I work in child welfare, and have direct access to every case file on every family in our county whose children are in foster care.  I'm not sure how this would affect our eligibility to foster parent, but I am pretty sure that's a gigantic conflict of interest.  So basically, I would either need to quit my job (which we absolutely cannot afford at this point, as much as I hate to admit that), find a new job (which is impossible in this economy -- I know, I've been looking for months), or win the lottery so we can afford a private adoption.  *SIGH*

So, that is pretty much where we are at right now:  one more cycle au naturale, a few tries with Clomid, then moving to foster-adoption and praying that somehow it will work out for us.

Someday, somehow, we ARE going to be parents.

6 comments:

  1. It's rough - we are approaching Decision time a well and trying to figure out how far and how invasive we're willing to go. It's heartbreaking that we can't make it happen on our own. I'm thinking of you!

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  2. You will definitely be a parent! I really hope the clomid works out. Thinking of you!

    <3 Mary

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  3. Would you get maternity leave from work for 12 weeks to enable you to foster/ adopt? Or does it not work like that?

    I didn't get pregnant with clomid, but neither did I suffer any side effects. I don't know about long term risks, what is it particularly that is concerning you?

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  4. Yes, I could take up to 12 weeks of unpaid family medical leave (FMLA) if we did foster-adopt, however, I can only take 12 weeks of FMLA per year. The problem with foster-adopt is that often foster providers will go through several placements before getting one where the child actually becomes legally available for adoption. So while I could use my FMLA for the first placement, if that one didn't work out, then we would be screwed.

    And with the clomid, we were more concerned with the long-term risks associated with it -- primarily the increased risk of cancers down the road. However my doctors seem to think the risks are pretty small when used in low doses, so I'm hoping they are right. I'm just nervous since I don't exactly have the best track record for beating risks/statistics...

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  5. Yes you WILL be. Good luck with the Clomid--I hope it gives you the boost you need!

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